Late yesterday, the group bidding to buy the St. Louis Rams attempted to salvage its efforts by giving the heave-ho to its most controversial member, right-wing bobblehead/Hillbilly Heroin addict Rush Limbaugh. An apparently even-more-outraged-than-usual Rush responded by striking a grandiose tone:
“This is not about the NFL, it’s not about the St. Louis Rams, it’s not about me,” Limbaugh told his radio audience following the announcement. “This is about the ongoing effort by the left in this country, wherever you find them, in the media, the Democrat Party, or wherever, to destroy conservatism, to prevent the mainstreaming of anyone who is prominent as a conservative.”
Fine, sure, whatever. Rush will be Rush, and Rush is known for hyperbole and stoking political division. In concluding, had he wished to be entirely forthcoming with his loyal legions, he should’ve added that “Furthermore, this is about my ratings — increasing them, to be specific.”
But he chose a different route:
“Therefore, this is about the future of the United States of America and what kind of country we’re going to have.”
Well, then…this is a whole ‘nother story, Rush. You didn’t miss out on this nation-shaping moment because you once played a “comedic” song on your show titled “Obama the Magic Negro.” Or because you villainized welfare and essentially characterized the entirety of Black America as a collection of deadbeat dads and lazy sons in a single broadcast. Or, on a slightly related note, because the NFL is 65 percent black, and that these players (and, more importantly, their union) actually hold some sway over things — a fact apparently overlooked until yesterday by your would-be partners.
No, these matters are inconsequential. You lost your bid, Rush, because of a vast leftist conspiracy, driven by Enemies of America who don’t want you to have a 5 percent stake in an abysmal collection of football players. At stake: ONE COUNTRY.
So let us take a moment to pray, then, for the future of our nation…and for those insufferable Rams, who must now face a season of universal health care, Spanish in the locker room, and bottles of painkillers that don’t go missing while their owners are out on the field.
Amen.
